In the months before and during my pregnancy, I had not been living the Christian life I should have been. I have always believed in Christ, but at this point I wasn't truly saved. I wasn't going to church, or trying to keep a healthy relationship with God. I never got into drugs or drinking, but my mind still wasn't on trying to build my faith. I was more concerned with trying to keep him happy and provide whatever he needed. I was working full time at a daycare facility while trying to take care of the baby in my womb and steer clear of any complications. I stayed busy and kept counting down the days until it was time for my little man to make his appearance.
On December 29th 2008, at 8:16 pm, I gave birth to my baby boy. Honestly, I can't put into words the joy I felt when I heard that first cry. It is truly indescribable. I had him via c-section so I didn't get to hold him right away, but the doctor held him near me so I could see him before he was taken to the nursery. I remember my first words to him were "Hey sweetie. I love you." That moment was perfect. If I could have stayed in that moment everything would have been okay. But as they say, "It's always darkest before the dawn."
While I was on maternity leave from my daycare job, the center shut down. Here I was with a newborn, I lost my job, he wasn't working, and there were bills that needed to be paid. The stress was almost too much. I couldn't even make ends meet or pay the rent. It was at this time that he talked me into moving to Indiana, where he was originally from. For the sake of providing a better life for my child, I agreed. In October of 2009, I packed up all of my belongings, left my entire family, and moved nearly 500 miles away. If I had known how bad things were going to be, I would never have even set foot out of the front door.
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