Sui-cide

                                   

Sui-cide: The act of taking one's own life voluntarily and intentionally by a person of years of discretion and of sound mind.  
 

Is there anyone out there who has a dark cloud hanging over them? Is that dark cloud in the form of lonely life, being bullied, or any negative situation or circumstance going on right now? I know how you feel.....I went through the same feelings, both as a teenager and as an adult.

 

I was a very lonely teenager....had a large family; lots of cousins, but no real friends. I grew up ina very small mountain community, and that did not help. Seven times in my early teenage years my sister took a butcher knife out of my hands. To me, a stab in the heart would do the job. She never told my parents, and of course, neither did I.

 

I made it through high school, then married soon after. Leaving the little mountain community was a temporary solution to the depression. I went on with my life~had children, divorced, worked two jobs, and entered into another abusive relationship. In March, 2004, I decided I'd had enough of the abuse, and 144 pills-2 days in ICU-7 days in the psych ward later, I felt much better. The doctors said I should have died, but God had a bigger purpose.

 

Ultimately, all I was looking for was love and acceptance, none of which I got growing up except from my paternal grandparents. All this time~since I was 14 years old~I knew who my Savior was....but I was searching for 'my purpose' in the wrong places. After this attempt, my life changed drastically....and has continued to improve in leaps and bounds. All I had to do was put Him first.

 

My challenge to any who are thinking about or considering this permanent solution to a temporary problem to seek help. Not just the help that will put you on medicines that will 'regulate' you. Seek the Great Physician that can repair ALL the damage, no matter where it comes from. Whether it is from child molestation (which I suffered) unloving parents (me again) no positive role models in my peer group (ditto), a change will come if you sincerely seek it from Him. You can be alive again, in a way that you never thought or imagined.

 

Before you consider taking your own life, give Him a chance.